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And so around 20 fearless Heroes – slightly smaller than usual as they were relegated to rolling Level 1 gnomes – gathered in Ironforge to test their fate by running into the unknown. The prize for the first to cross the line? An exquisite 22-slot 'Gigantique' Bag procured from none other than Haris Pilton. The destination? Unknown at first, but gasps of disbelief were heard as the news spread. They would be running to Stormwind, via Searing Gorge and Blackrock Mountain. Surely death awaited them all... And not surprisingly, they died. In large numbers. A trail of corpses littered the landscape as spiders, bears, wolves, and Dark Iron Dwarves all took their toll. But the intrepid racers pressed on, some laughing at the misery of others before they themselves felt the cold [Finger of Death] upon their teeny little bodies (far too many of which were naked...). They ran through Blackrock Mountain, paying no mind to the dragons soaring above or the lava seething below. They were focused on winning. On surviving. On finding someone to bring them a beer to their computer so they didn't have to get up mid-race. At the end it was Stormhealz's gnome that crossed the finish line first, garnering the prize that so many had sought. The participants gathered in the pub and what was once a noble competition denegrated into a night of naked dancing on the bar and swinging from the chandalier. It is with much dismay that this writer must report that many of the drunken, barely clothed gnomes were caught soliciting an unsuspecting Level 11 Paladin – a Crusader of the Light, no less – who had stopped by the Inn to quench his thirst and complete a simple quest. It is widely believed that he has been forced to preorder a copy of Warhammer Online in an attempt to rid himself of the shame and ignominy brought on by such debauched behaviour... Congratulations to all the Gnomes who made it through – and to Stormhealz for winning the race, to Sylphid for being voted Most Evil-looking Gnome and to Ruya for being voted Most Evil Personality of the evening! (Screenshots courtesy of Soulls) |
